The Dosey-Doe of Dating


I often feel compelled to write about dating, because I feel like it is a complicated dosey-doe that most participants are attempting to learn without an instructor. They want to do the dance, but don't know the steps. Not that I'm a dating guru, but I had plenty of single, non-dating time to reflect on what I was embarrassed about doing, or what I wished would have happened. You live and learn, and, in my case, you then try to write a helpful article so others still attempting the dosey-doe won't step on as many toes along the way, or miss the steps altogether.

In my opinion, just beginning the dating process is one of the most complicated aspects of the dance. There is the lady's side of waiting to be asked out, and then there is the guy's side of actually asking her out. Both require something of finesse to do well.

Ladies, Be Friendly

As a child, I once had a little girl ask me if we could be friends. For some reason, I found this to be awkward. After all, in my experience you didn't ask someone to be friends, you just started being their friend and it happened organically. I think this approach would be helpful for the ladies to remember in the dating world. You don't have to be so obvious and tell the fella you like him and wish he would ask you out. Just naturally be nice to him and be his friend. I had a friend growing up that got asked out constantly, because she only had brothers at home and treated all guys like big brothers, joking around and being completely at ease. I, on the other hand, was very uncomfortable around guys, and virtually NEVER got asked out. The guys took my silence as not being interested. Take note, single ladies. There is something you can do while you're waiting, and it involves being an interested friend to the guys in your life. 

Fellas, Take the Initiative

There was a little boy, named Lucas, in my 2nd grade class. All of the girls tried to stay away from him because he seemed overly girl-crazy. One time he even kissed me while waiting in line. He was standing behind me, said my name, and then kissed me as I turned around. Needless to say, I quickly went to the back of the line, horrified. Fellas, I don't think you should be like Lucas, but I do think you should initiate more easily than most of you tend to. Don't initiate with every girl you know, because that is a turn-off. But do initiate with SOME girl, sometime. There are few things more frustrating in a single woman's life than to never be pursued. Talk about having your hands tied behind your back. Remember that your lack of pursuit or initiative is putting other people's lives on hold, not to mention your own. Don't let fear or complacency hold you back. If you feel a desire to be married, take a look around and do something about it. 

Alright, that's enough lecturing in the dating department for today. Singles, I feel for you. Sometimes the dance is slow in getting started, but trust God with it and live a full life in the meantime. That's attractive, and will mature you for your future mate. But don't neglect your responsibility in the dance. Do your part, so your partner can have a chance to "spin their partner 'round and 'round."

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