When You Disagree


I used to think that to be great friends with someone, you thought exactly like them. You could almost finish each other's sentences, their thoughts were your thoughts on a subject, and you never disagreed. Now, I am well-aware that isn't the case. Even marriage doesn't bring about perfect harmony in the way we think about things, or what motivates us to feel a certain way. And that's ok. God made us all different thinking creatures for a reason. We learn from each other, and we also learn to, more than tolerate, but love each other through the differences. 

Being Loved, Regardless

One of my biggest indications that I am truly loved these days is when someone knows I feel differently about something, but they still seek me out for friendship. As convicted people, it can be easy to step away from an imperfect connection. After all, it's not suiting our cause anymore, right? But when our cause is to love people, that trumps feeling like everyone in our lives agrees with us. We love, because God loved us first. And He knows our thoughts have a whole lot of conforming to His will to do before they match up. But He still loves us.

Not Avoiding Disagreements

Disagreeing is not the enemy. It is the sign of a good friendship when you can voice your opposing opinion, and expect to come out the other side still respected. I used to keep my opinions more quiet, which I think gave some people the impression that I agreed when maybe I didn't. But I didn't want to cause any waves; I was afraid of not being loved. And, you know what, that happens. Some friends will stop calling you as much when they know that you feel differently about an issue than them. But that really boils down to their problem, not yours. Friendships are hard to let go, but to not be truly loved, even when you say disagreeable things, is harder.

We have to learn to bear with one another. Sure, explain why you think your friend is wrong, but don't make it an ultimatum for the friendship. Learn to love well, and pursue those you don't agree with. We all change our minds a million times in our lives, but being loved shouldn't be so shifty. Respect that each person has a reason they came to a certain conclusion. Debate about it. But never stop loving.

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