A Few Dating Tips

In some ways I'm one of the least qualified people to be giving dating tips, because I ended up marrying my first boyfriend. But, I did have a couple of dates with other guys before that, and I've also observed my dating friends and have gotten plenty of advice as I navigated the "single and hoping to marry" pathway. And this article is meant for that set of people. Let's jump right into it so we can get you out there dating as soon as possible!

1) Go on dates. Guys, are you interested in a girl? Ask her out. Girls, are you interested in a guy? Be friendly, smile, and try to get to know him. I'm not encouraging desperation, you understand, but show him you're interested by the way you act. Dare I say the "f" word? Even flirt a little. I know, I'm a heathen for even thinking it. Stop stalling moving forward, and use your God-given initiative and do something about that crush you have.

2) Don't over-complicate it. You don't have to marry the first person you go on a date with. I know it may seem more spiritual (and more comfortable) to only date someone you are certain you will end up marrying, but that simply isn't true. Dating gives life-experience, and, when you do it in a godly way, you can both come out a little wiser on the other side, even if you aren't two peas meant for the same pod. Be willing to take a risk on someone you're not completely certain about to see if they are marriage material.

3) First dates rarely tell you much. I'm going to qualify that by admitting that I knew the two dates I went on with fellas before my husband weren't right for second dates, because I was longing for the dates to end long before they did. Sometimes you just have that clarity. But, if you don't, which most likely you won't since it's so hard to really open up to someone you don't know on that first date, you really should give it a second go. Go for a date that includes an activity, as well as some talking time. That way you will gain a better understanding of the person as both of you have time to lighten up.

4) Open up. What's the point of going on dates if you aren't willing to open up to someone? I'd be surprised if you even get a date if you aren't willing to open up a little. Admit to struggles, show your fun side, and even let them see you get embarrassed or do something awkward. If you aren't nervous on a date, you probably aren't really into the person across from you. Don't let nerves or fears hold you back from letting them have a glimpse at who you really are. It's only fair.

 5) When it's not right, cut it off. I like to go cold turkey in this regard. The best way to insure you aren't leading someone along, that you don't want to continue dating, is to be very clear (and nice!), and don't attempt the whole "friendlationship" deal. Friendlationships only lead to unneeded confusion and hurt. Have integrity and don't keep it dangling, and also refuse to be dangled. 

Those are just a few tips for the early stages of dating. I'd love to see more singles make efforts at getting to know people they are interested in. It takes a lot of courage to step out there and make yourself vulnerable, especially when it's such an unsure thing as dating. But marriage is worth it, so I dare you to send that person that is catching your eye a little Facebook message, or actually go over and talk to them at church. No shame! Wanting to get married is a wonderful and God-given ambition, but there is a little process that has to happen in order to find that great person just for you: dating!

*For more of my thoughts on dating, click on the following links:


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