Thoughts From a Newlywed


After my husband and I got married this past spring, there were a few things that we pretty quickly agreed on about marriage:

1) Marriage is worth pursuing.
We were both near 30 when we got married. This is comparatively late to our grandparents' culture, but more normal in our own culture. It's not that we didn't want to be married before, circumstances and learning curves, by the will of God, just made it happen that way. But what we both agreed to is that we would encourage early twenty-somethings to pursue marriage. It is such a provision and blessing for walking through life. It makes you grow up, and it makes you happy (in general). I absolutely love holding hands as we fall asleep, and having a "built-in best friend", as we call it. The stability and comfort of family, it's all wonderful.
We both agree that it's worth a little bit of awkward dating time to get to a good marriage. 

2) We fit well together.
We had a discussion the other day that you can make a marriage work with anyone. God intends all marriages to work, regardless of personalities. But there's another aspect that marriage can be more than just making it work. You can choose a marriage partner that you truly enjoy. That is why pursuing marriage in the way God intended makes marriage such a gift. My husband and I laugh together, have common ground, and really enjoy being together. 

3) Marriage is a huge change.
My hubbie and I lived long distance the entire time of our relationship before marriage, which was about 18 months. A day and a half before our wedding I picked him from the airport, and then we finally didn’t have to be separated by hundreds of miles anymore. That was wonderful!
All that to say, we knew that we’d be facing a lot of changes to our lives by  getting married, but ours was multiplied a little, because we hadn’t been around each other very much before. We had a lot to learn.
So, this makes life difficult to be sure for a while, and you step on each other’s toes a lot. But the learning process is so worth it. 

4) Men and women are VERY different.
Along that same line of thought, part of the learning process has made us realize that men and women think so differently. Although I've had plenty of guy friends throughout the years as well as living with a brother and dad, it wasn't until I was trying to work out life with my husband that the differences in men and women hit me in the face. We like different movies, he says things that hurt my feelings without realizing it, he has more stamina than me, our idea of fun is different, etc. In fact, after that first shopping trip of him being nice just to go along, I decided it actually isn't even fun to shop with someone that hates it. But this is all where communication and humor come in. Realizing each other’s intentions generally aren’t bad helps in trying to understand why the other one is doing something we think is the wrong way.

5) Our marriage is vulnerable to falling apart.
Without God's help, there's no confidence we could have that our marriage would stand against all of the hard things that come up. Besides our own sin we're dealing with, marriage is a threat to Satan. It has the potential to show a lovely picture of our great God and His church, and, for that reason, every marriage is on Satan's hit list. We have to continually ask God to protect it.

And lastly, at least for this list, is...

6) Marriage is a sigh of relief for us.
We agree that we could've lived without marriage, but we sure are glad we don't have to. We had both longed for the companionship and intimacy for a long time. The security of having someone promise to always love you is wonderful. Sometimes we just look at each other and smile, because we’ve known loneliness, yet God gave us each other to love. A good marriage is worth any heartache you may open yourself up to. It makes life more full to open it up to love someone so deeply.

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